However, despite arguably deserving all those things, teachers shouldn't start consider emigrating just yet – it's a world entirely made up by comedians Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key.
In a sketch from their award-winning comedy show Key & Peele, the duo reimagine teaching as a highly paid, competitive profession in the mould of football.
Parodying sports news shows, the two excitedly show the brightest prospects for teaching getting drafted directly from college
And the top teachers are shown being awarded million-dollar contracts in transfer deals between public-school systems, as well as lucrative advertising deals.
Fans of the pair's approach to the teaching profession may be delighted to hear that they are currently developing a film, based on a series of sketches about the classroom tribulations of a substitute teacher.