a All the French and Germans already speak English
b Everything useful gets translated anyway
c The exams are so easy there's no point taking them
d All of the above
2 Unqualified staff have been marking GCSEs. What does the board have to say?
a Qualifications are overrated
b They're so easy anyone can mark them
c Thank goodness no-one took French or German
d 'Edexcel is confident in the quality of the marking'
3 The number of unemployed has gone up. Why?
a You have to speak French to get a job
b You have to speak German to get a job
c The French and Germans have taken all the jobs
d Les jeunes sont work-shy und idle
4 London has won its Olympic bid. What does this mean?
a The city will be full of people running around in circles
b Some of them will be French or German
c No-one will understand a word they say
d We'll see even more of Ken Livingstone than we do already
5 Tony Blair went on holiday to a top-secret destination. Where was it?
a Chancellor Schroder's Schloss in Germany
b President Chirac's chateau in France
c Cliff Richard's house in Barbados
d If I told you I'd have to kill you
ANSWERS: 1d, 2d, 3d, 4d,5d