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1 A government watchdog is urging a crackdown on pupils plagiarising the web. What do the pupils say?

a I have never copied anything

b I have never copied anything

c I have never copied anything

d It wasn't me, it was my dad

2 Americans are being attacked by wild turkeys. What will happen next?

a Wild turkeys will be attacked by Americans

b Turkey will be attacked by wild Americans

c George Bush will find something about turkeys in Revelations

d George Bush will declare Thanksgiving to be a day of national revenge

3 Alcoholic mayhem has been predicted following the arrival of 24-hour licensing. What do teachers say?

a Better make this the last one, I've got assembly in ten minutes

b Better make this the last one, I've just seen a wild turkey attacking George Bush

c There just aren't enough hours in the day

d You're my very besht pupil in all the world

4 Rupert Murdoch claims he deserves more respect. What do journalists say?

a Help, I'm being attacked by a wild Rupert

b Yes Sir, how much?

c British journalism will never be the same again

d Same again, please

5 Jeffrey Archer wants to rejoin the Conservatives. What do decent law-abiding citizens say?

a I think he deserves more respect

b I think he deserves the whip

c I think he should be attacked by drunken wild Conservatives

d I'll have a large Archers with ice, please

ANSWERS: 1d, 2b, 3a, 4d, 5c

QUIZANSWERS: 1d, 2b, 3a, 4d, 5c

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