d All of the above
2 Primary-school children need to read only 100 words, according to a
survey. What do the children say?
b Mummy, I'm being severely patronised. Pray make them desist forthwith
c Nothing. I want to be Harold Pinter when I grow up
d *****. And spell it any way you like
3 Residents of a valley in Wales finally got electricity. What did they
a Coronation Street
d More rain
4 Paul Gascoigne was sacked as manager of Kettering Town after only 39
days. What should he do now?
a Retire gracelessly
b Learn some new words - triple figures can't be far off now
c Go to Wales and see the light
d Just go away. Anywhere. Please
5 Another survey has found that Sod's Law really exists, and it happens on
Mondays. What will happen next Monday?
a Ruth Kelly will pay a surprise visit to constantly drive up standards
b Paul Gascoigne will land butter-side down on the carpet
c It will rain in Wales and cause a power cut
d Bob Geldof will sing about it
1c, 2d, 3a, 4d, 5b