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1 John Prescott says he could have been played by Marlon Brando. What does Brando think?

a I could never play a man of his stature b Can I have a Jaguar named Desire?

c I knew being dead would come in handy d The horror, the horror 2 Parents are asking teachers for help with home discipline. What do teachers say?

a I'll be round in five minutes b Can I bring a friend?

c Is your basement soundproofed?

d I knew these jump leads would come in handy 3 A plane's take-off was delayed when the pilot dropped his phone. What did the pilot say?

a I'm on the runway b I'm on the runway c I'm on the runway d All of the above 4 Iran has succeeded in enriching uranium. What does this mean?

a It's the end of the world b It's not the end of the world c It might be the end of the world d All the ayatollahs will glow in the dark 5 An LA policeman fined an 82-year-old woman for crossing a road too slowly. What did the woman say?

a I'm in the fast lane b I'm in the middle lane c I'm in the slow lane d Eat lead, M***********

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