a Constantly drive up standards

b Constantly promise to constantly drive up something

c Constantly split infinitives

d Constantly drive everyone up the wall

2 A Real Fathers for Justice campaigner handcuffed himself to Beverley Hughes. What did she say?

a I want to discuss the key issues

b Have you got a hacksaw at home?

c Have you got a Catwoman costume at home?

d Will you come quietly?

3 The Government wants to introduce a national curriculum for babies. What will they need to do?

a Month 1: be kissed by a Labour MP

b Month 2: throw up over a Tory MP

c Month 3: laugh at a Lib Dem MP

d Month 4: be driven up the wall by Ruth Kelly

4 US researchers have found that a climate of fear boosts productivity.

What do teachers say?

a You mean there’s another kind?

b No more Mister Nice Guy

c I’ve got a hacksaw at home, and I’m not afraid to use it

d This will hurt you more than it hurts me

5 Former schools minister Jacqui Smith has been made chief whip. What does this mean?

a Rebel MPs will have to stay in the chamber during break

b Rebel MPs will have to kiss extra babies

c Rebel MPs will be handcuffed to Beverley Hughes

d Rebel MPs won’t be handcuffed to Beverley Hughes

Answers under the crossword

QUIZ ANSWERS: 1b, 2a, 3a, 4d, 5c