Time to celebrate the weekend! It seems that with longer working hours and increased pressure from every direction, you're being forced to find your thrills at the expense of those closest to you…your fellow teachers. Here are just a few of the ways your coworkers have told us they blow off steam at the workplace. Can you outdo them?
- Diminishing desk
As you wander into your classroom, still bleary-eyed after an all-nighter grading papers, you sense that something isn't quite right. You sit down, but the floor seems closer than usual. Have you had an adult growth-spurt over night? Are you suddenly a wizard in a school full of hobbits? Or has your coworker realized how picky you are about your desk and replaced everything with a tiny version from the kindergarten class? You'll have your vengeance. But, first, you need some help getting out of that chair.
- Mysterious missive
A letter is lurking in your mailbox. You open it to find a handwritten note from a secret admirer. The note asks you to meet your admirer after school in the chemistry lab. You're suspicious but your curiosity gets the best of you. Maybe it's the cute new subsitute you bumped into the other day? As soon as the last bell rings you smoothly make your way over to the lab -- only to be met with the Geology Club who were told you'd be advising them today since their usual teacher (and now ex-friend) had to leave early. This isn't the kind of admiration you were expecting.
- Free food
You're starving, you haven't eaten since dawn and now, just at the end of lunch, someone tells you there's free cake in the gym after some team or another celebrated a win. You race there, hurling children out of your path, but when you fall into the empty gym, breathless and red-faced, there's no cake waiting for you, just a very amused PE department. If you had any energy left, you might bust out some wrestline moves amd recover some pride, but instead you manage a weak "ha ha" and trudge back to the other side of school for your next class.
- Mouse malfunction
Whether it’s dealing with yet another paper jam or a video link that refuses to play mid-lesson, few things make you madder than technology letting you down. So when the mice on the staff computers stop working because – you later realize – there are little sticky notes covering their infrared sensors, you know you’re justified in your decision to remove all coffee supplies from the teacher's lounge until the culprit comes forward.
- Naughty novel
Everyone seems to be smirking at you – the notoriously dour vice-principal even winks. You assume you've mysteriously become charismatic overnight. Until you arrive in your classroom and find it plastered in posters advertising the erotic novel your namesake on Amazon recently debuted. You swear up and down that it isn't you and the self-published author just shares a name, but your coworkers don't care. Cue you turning fifty shades of red.
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