What to do when parental relationships sour

Despite best intentions on both sides, interactions between schools and parents do not always go smoothly. And when they do go wrong it can cause huge issues for the child involved.

We know from copious research that positive parental involvement in a child’s education is critical if a child is to succeed, and thus negative - or no - involvement from parents needs to be tackled quickly.

So what should schools do when parental relationships have broken down and are in need of repair?

Communication between school and parents

All parents want what’s best for their children, and they can be extremely passionate and dedicated in showing it.

Unfortunately, this kind of emotion can sometimes spill over, leading to parents and schools clashing over the best approach for children. The two can become enemies, not partners, in the education of the child. 

This often leads to one of two scenarios: a constant deluge of intense and often very negative communication between school and home, or a lack of any communication at all. 

In either situation, one strategy that can be very effective is setting boundaries of communication. To begin with, you can give a clear outline of the frequency and format of parental engagement from the outset. For instance, letting parents know that they can expect monthly newsletters, weekly social media updates and scheduled progress reports, in addition to termly parents’ evenings. 

Furthermore, proactively providing parents with the means of tracking and monitoring the sorts of data they may find useful about their children is another good way of helping them to feel engaged. 

Tools such as the school engagement solution from Capita SIMS provide parents with access to key information, such as attendance, behaviour or homework, in almost real-time, so they can log in and stay updated at any time and location that suits them.

Feedback and clarity

On top of this, parents should be encouraged to provide constructive feedback, but through controlled channels.

One way to achieve this could be to set up a dedicated email address for feedback or complaints, and let parents know that this will be the only channel for receiving comments. They should be told how soon a response can be expected, too.

Schools could even go one step further and provide example wording for parents to use or a template email, reducing the opportunity for abusive or threatening language and ensuring that any complaint is provided in a structured and informative manner that schools can act upon as required.

This would help in keeping a record of interactions with parents so that data can be used to better inform future conversations. 

Technology can help to make this kind of record-keeping much easier, especially when communications are delivered via a platform like Capita SIMS, as they are automatically stored and attached to the pupil’s record in SIMS for future reference. This can also help to resolve instances of miscommunication, as conversations are tracked and logged.

Ultimately, these suggestions are about clarity. So often in dysfunctional relationships hearsay and miscommunication exacerbate the issue.

What technology can offer is a better and more ordered system of communication that empowers both the schools and the parents to work together, and ensures that the right messages and information are delivered for the benefit of the child.

Graham Cooper is head of education at Capita SIMS