I recently visited some friends and was immediately told they wanted my advice. Usually this amounts to a perplexed question about their son’s latest essay or use of a spreadsheet, but it was clear that this was a more serious matter. As is the case with many families, the home computer is used by their son for games - the online sort, where he and his friends can play each other over the Internet.

Like the majority of parents, they have little understanding of this whole new world which their children find so absorbing. They certainly had no idea that, in order to engage in the game, their son had joined an online “clan” which, as well as the game, gave access to a chat area where players could swap strategies and enjoy being one of the gamers. They were completely unaware, until one of them walked in unannounced and caught a glimpse of a racist message on the computer screen with their son Alex looking very distressed and drawn.

It turns out that 13-year-old Alex had innocently been drawn into the excitement of the gaming clan, which had been enjoyable until it suddenly turned on him. He had foolishly divulged his personal email address to a clan leader who had been particularly friendly and then found himself having to deal with a number of very unpleasant emails sent directly to him. As a scared 13-year-old he did not know what to do and had not yet plucked up the courage to ask his parents. They were all visibly shocked.

Who can help?

The Government’s NGfL safety site, http:safety.ngfl.gov.uk, covers a range of issues including email addresses for pupils, filtering systems and chatrooms. Childnet International operates www.chatdanger.com, a site specifically about the dangers of chatrooms with a range of useful advice aimed at children. The charity NCH, www.nch.org.uk, publishes children’s netsmart rules for safe surfing. These are all worth a visit if you have not already done so. Parents Information Network has developed www.smartparent.org.uk - a dedicated source of information and support specifically for parents to help them become “smart” when it comes to chat.

It’s vital for all those advising parents to strike a balance between scaremongering and informing. Parents need to know the full facts, good or bad, and they also need some basic strategies. The Smartparent site gives clear, cool-handed facts about online chat plus basic measures parents can take to help protect their children from the potential dangers. It also gives them an opportunity to add their voices to the online safety debate.

Although it is impossible to say how many people are using chatrooms across the world, a recent Internet Crime Forum report suggests that there are now about 5 million children online in the UK and, of those, over 1 million are under 14 years. It is also estimated that chatrooms are popular with 23 per cent of children but, in the group of 15 to 16-year-olds, about 41 per cent use online chat. With this scale of interest, it is vital that parents are not just given rules but also explanations as to why the rules are significant so that they can become smart enough to encourage safer access and usage.

Alex’s parents are now more aware, but it was a hard way for them all to learn.

Jacquie Disney is the director of Parents Information Network (PIN), an independent service evaluating educational software and websites suitable for home use, and a source of advice for parents on Internet usage and safety.Email: Jacquie@pin.org.uk www.pin.org.uk www.smartparent.org.uk