Has Christine Gilbert or her chief adviser Tim Key looked at the national curriculum orders lately - even the “new” ones? More turgid educational writing I have yet to come across - including all that stuff we had to read while students at college.

Apparently, according to the science national curriculum, “forces are interactions between objects and can affect shape and motion” - now there’s a snappy description of a football match if I ever saw one.

Then I look at the Ofsted reports for my school and others. Little inspiration here. Not even professional enlightenment - just boring, stilted and ponderous prose.

“Good and effective with a number of outstanding features” hardly describes the inspirational teaching taking place every day that leads to my school being nearly three times oversubscribed, or even hints at the exciting contribution it makes on the national and international stage.

Next time my teaching is described by an Ofsted inspector as being “satisfactory”, I will point out that I am merely storing energy (national curriculum science KS3; 3.1a) in order to teach a whizzo zappy lesson tomorrow.

Peter Stammers, Banstead, Surrey.