Xerox - Strategic Implementation Plans, Revised Strategic Implementation Plans and Emergency Budget. You’ve seen them all.

X theory - Motivational theory of college principals that lecturing staff are lazy and lacking in ambition and any personal gyms would be wasted on them.

Y theory - Motivational theory that providing a dry Portakabin might just do the trick.

Year-on-year efficiency - Quality Circle brainstormers want to know how you’d feel about teaching two classes at a time.

Year-round access - You’re in college most of the year anyway - what’s a few extra days?

Youth - You can’t stay sane with them but you haven’t got a job without them

Youth training - Eleven years of failed education and they expect you to work miracles in how many months?

Youth training scheme - This brave New Deal ‘tis new to thee.

Malcom Burgess