It’s official - I am the parent from hell. My youngest daughter started nursery this week, and her poor teacher, Mrs Winkworth, had to face a parent with questions: not about what the children have at snack time or when they get their book bags, but about planning grids and learning goals. I saw her glaze over, no doubt thinking: “Oh no, not her again.” I left Eleanor to the delights of the “small world” corner, and the teacher to build a barricade to keep me out. I must be as irritating to the teachers at my eldest children’s secondary school. I can’t help myself.

But I’m not trying to be clever just because I’m a teacher too. I’m just like other parents. I want my children to have the best possible education. I want to know that the teacher has my child’s best interests at heart.

For parents to feel secure, the teacher must communicate well. Just because you know what’s happening doesn’t mean parents do. And you can bet that when their children are asked brightly, “What did you do at school today?”

it doesn’t matter that you spent all weekend constructing a model of Tudor London for them to explore, the answer will be the same: “Nothing,” or:

“Can’t remember.” So remember to do your parent PR and let them know what you are doing.

If your school does not have a system that informs parents in jargon-free terms about the topics and learning goals for each half-term, create one for your class. One well-presented side of A4 should do the trick.

Parents may want to support learning with activities at home or with trips, and they may have resources and experience to pass on to you. When I was dumbfounded by a topic on mining in my first year of teaching, parents offered me a wealth of resources as well as oral accounts from miners.

Parent-teacher communication can be difficult, especially when parents feel uncomfortable in school, or are poor English speakers. And it can be difficult for a parent to communicate with a teacher when the parent cannot get to the school. Some don’t have a car, or childcare might be a problem. And parents’ work often makes a casual drop-in impossible. But teachers must keep communicating, even under such tough circumstances.

When I was teaching full-time, I held an “open house”, more informal than a parents’ evening. I also held workshops on maths and English to explain why we did “decomposition” or what the literacy hour meant. Such occasions help parents feel included and allay anxiety. Remember, parents may not have been in a school since they left, and school might not have been a positive experience for them.

I also found grandparents useful. And some parents who worked during the day, or were at home with small children, were happy to take things home to cut out, mount and so on. Don’t underestimate this type of help; primary teachers can develop permanent sores on their fingers from cutting out. All parents have a value; it is up to you to make them feel welcome. Don’t be nervous about having parents in the classroom; like spiders, they are more frightened of you than you are of them.

Lynn Huggins-Cooper is a PGCE lecturer at Newcastle University. Next week: preparing for parents’ evening

STAYING IN TOUCH

How to keep parents informed

* Make yourself available informally - teachers are increasingly too busy to see parents at the start of the school day. Some schools have surgeries in which teachers are available to answer questions; some keep a slot at home time to deal with parents’ concerns.

* Keep positive communication flowing. Apart from notes home to parents about class topics and goals, send good news as well. I used to keep a file of good news sheets with a fancy border. Each child would be given positive feedback to take home as part of a rolling programme. It might just be a note to say how kind they had been with a sick child, or how maturely they dealt with a classroom dispute.

* Look for opportunities for informal talks. Go to the playground for a few minutes after school if you can, so parents and carers get to know you.

* Explain your homework policy and other rules, and how you will meet each child’s specific goals.

* Let parents know you welcome help. If they can’t come into school, make cutting-out and mounting jobs available for them - but with no pressure.

* Before parents come in to help, find out what they feel comfortable with. Write parents’ roles into your plans, and take time to explain what you would like them to do. Be clear about the importance of confidentiality. Be professional yourself, and don’t gossip about children or staff.

* Make parents feel welcome. Fetch coffee for them at breaktime, perhaps, or make time for a chat. Show them they’re appreciated and help them to understand the value of their support. And don’t forget to thank them for their involvement at the end of the session.