Home Archived Comebacks to backchat Back Comebacks to backchat 9th November 2018, 12:00am Tes Editorial Share Comebacks to backchat https://www.tes.com/magazine/archived/comebacks-backchat Copy Link We love our students. FE teachers don't tolerate crap wages, national invisibility and government policy as an afterthought because we're very specific, edu-based sadomasochists. It's because our singular quest is to support our students towards learning what will ultimately give them a better life. After consulting esteemed colleagues on Twitter and Facebook, I have collected some of the infuriating phrases that students come out with, year-in, year-out. I have also provided the reply that takes place only in my head. 'This is boring' I do apologise, Brianna, I know functional skills classes are renowned for their atmos of rolling mardi gras, but my tiki torch and Bacardi Breezer budget is frighteningly low this week. So we'll continue learning where to stick an apostrophe, shall we? 'My dad/mum/gran/boss says I don't need to know this' Get 'em on the phone. Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough. If it's a war of words, my money's on me. 'I don't get it' Is it because I didn't show you in five different ways, giving you a disproportionate amount of my time while you were mouthing to your mate that my lesson was shit? That can't be it, because I did. Is it because you are genuinely having trouble getting your head around this topic, even though you were totally capable of it last week? Or is it, by chance, that you're a lazy twerp who can't be bothered to try? I think we both know the answer. Sarah Simons works in colleges and adult community education in the East Midlands, and is the director of UKFEchat You’ve reached your limit of free articles this month Register for free to read more You can read two more articles on Tes for free this month if you register using the button below. Alternatively, check if your school has a Tes subscription. If not, for just £5 per month you can subscribe personally for: Unlimited access to all Tes magazine content Exclusive subscriber-only articles Email newsletters Register Subscribe now Already registered? Log in You’ve reached your limit of free articles this month Subscribe to read more Check if your school has a Tes subscription. If not, for just £5 per month you can subscribe personally for: Unlimited access to all Tes magazine content Exclusive subscriber-only articles Email newsletters Subscribe now Written by Tes Editorial Share Comebacks to backchat https://www.tes.com/magazine/archived/comebacks-backchat Copy Link Read more New Magazine Experience New Magazine Experience • 18th November 2021 How Quizlet can benefit new teachers Dan Worth • 6th September 2019 Make MFL planning a breeze with Quizlet Heather Martin • 9th September 2019 How Quizlet can boost English teaching and learning Lauran Hampshire-Dell • 17th September 2019 Recent Most read Most shared Need to know: DfE's plans for academies Pausing music ‘not intended to imply' subject 'hierarchy’ DfE 'wastes' 1000s of face masks on primary schools Exclusive: Nadhim Zahawi on what he is going to do next Wellbeing Around the World: Removing heads of subjects KCSIE 2022: The key proposed changes How to read MAT financial accounts - and why you should 5 practical skills to succeed in middle leadership Time management: is this approach the silver bullet?