How well do you know the people you spend your days with? If you’re reading this in a staffroom or an office with more than, say, 10 people in it, rest assured there’ll be scandal afoot.

Have a look around the room. Why is that lecturer so comfortable with his manager that he doesn’t always say thank you when she passes him a cup of tea? Why does that colleague always get the same member of the IT support team, and why does he rest his hands on her shoulders when he arrives to mess about with her hard drive?

There are illicit goings-on between staff in colleges up and down the land. The gossip I hear would make your hair curl. There’s the one about the manager who walked into an “empty” office to find a flustered colleague searching pointedly for her contact lens on the floor. Rather than assist, the co-worker standing over her was more preoccupied with smartening himself up in the belt region.

Then there’s the legend of the two very senior FE people who didn’t quite make it to a conference hotel room and “exchanged professional appreciation” in the corridor so robustly that they woke other guests.

I’m not making any judgements about affairs of the heart (or pants), but be careful at work

There’s also the tale of the cocksure lecturer whose communication with female staff just felt predatory. None of the women could articulate why they felt at risk of a dry hump but the thought had crossed all their minds. When the women got together and shared their experiences, one of those gathered looked instantly bereft and burst into tears. She’d thought his special attentions were specific to her and had reciprocated to completion. Regularly.

I myself have witnessed goings-on going on. At one college, the palpable combative chemistry between two marrieds (not to each other) who had been at it for donkey’s years was so obvious that it made staff meetings feel like a pervy gladiator match.

At a different college, a staff member from another department had such an all-consuming crush on one of our team that he made regular flimsy excuses to enter our staffroom and clumsily woo her. The fact that they were both married to other people didn’t seem to dampen his ardour. She dealt with his attentions so gracefully that it was never clear whether there was adultery brewing. It was hugely entertaining to watch.

People who’ve worked in FE for a while tend to move around. Over the years, the seemingly vast staff cohort in the East Midlands region where I work has transformed into a small group where everyone knows everyone else and has a story to tell.

Now, I’m not making any judgements regarding affairs of the heart (or pants). But I can offer this advice: be careful at work. Unburden with caution. People talk. It’s a small world in FE. If you need to dilute your guilt by giving voice to your secret, confide in your dog.

Sarah Simons works in FE colleges in the East Midlands @MrsSarahSimons