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I’m no wizard when I’ve got my sorting hat on

The enrolment of thousands of new learners inevitably brings high levels of confusion, writes Tom Starkey – it’s not unusual for beauty students to be directed to a butchery class

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It’s almost enrolment time at my place. For a couple of weeks out of the year, the college transforms into a conveyor belt of forms and bodies, with people queuing into the middle distance as thousands of new students go through the challenging yet monotonous process of getting themselves on to the course they’re supposed to be on, whilst in a state of near-constant confusion.

This confusion is only intensified if any of the noobs makes the rookie mistake of asking me a question about pretty much anything when I’m doing my stint of supposedly helping the new batch, as I’m invariably as ...

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