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Keen to avoid a crap lesson, I had a flush of inspiration ...

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This term, we’re on non-fiction; the unwelcome but unavoidable turd of the English curriculum.

Nobody was ever moved or inspired in a lesson about a banal beach-safety leaflet or the smug autobiography of some toff mountain climber.

However, if we at least cover non-fiction in the GCSE, we can continue to fend off the functionalists who would reduce our subject to the composition of emails and instruction manuals. So, this term, I wanted to make the best of it and start off with something relatable: poo.

My inspiration was the dumbfoundingly hilarious infomercial for the Squatty Potty, a ...

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