Steve Eddison

Mind your lip – there could be a £28 price to pay

Ms Poshberry’s missing Chanel Rouge Allure resulted in the usual suspects being rounded up for psychological investigation

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A theft has been reported. Ms Poshberry has had an item of considerable value removed from her handbag. Any possibility that it might have been inadvertently misplaced has been summarily dismissed. The only explanation is that it has been stolen by a child or children unknown, and if it is not returned by lunchtime, there will be hell to pay.

The gravity of this offence should not be underestimated. It’s not like Kayleigh’s pound coin that shouldn’t have been left in her tray in the first place. Or Bryan’s coat, which frequently goes missing and always turns up again. Or even Harry’s ...

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