- The importance of chocolate biscuits in keeping a staffroom happy.
- Your pupils’ names. It’s a low bar but an essential one.
- When you’re up at 1am planning lessons, it’s less lonely if you watch Bargain Hunt...
- ...and your pupils are now whizzes at counting in tens, then fives, before asking for any further offers.
- When you’re up at 1am marking, you start keeping a log of how many different ways reception children spell rabbit. There are currently 27...
- ...although you are not sure if "D-O-G" really counts, even though Alisha swears it is the name of her brother’s pet rabbit.
- Then you meet her brother. And you understand.
- You spend your weekends googling stampers.
- You can’t believe that there isn’t already a stamper with "Remember your finger spaces" on it. You consider ordering 30,000 of them – enough for every Year 1 teacher in England.
- You order a bargain one with "Remember your finger spaces" – it will be invaluable.
- When you’re in a nightclub at 1am, telling the sexy barman about your 28 children might not result in a date.
- Especially when you can no longer remember their names.
- But the personalised stamper has arrived!
- And it says "Rememberyourfingerspaces".
- So you auction it off in the staffroom – and get two chocolate biscuits for it.
It’s your fourth week of primary teaching and a few things will be becoming crystal clear...
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