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16 ways primary teachers know that Sats Week is at a close

16 ways primary teachers know that Sats Week is at a close

You are mentally and physically exhausted. The weekend is in sight. Tomorrow you will wake up without panicking. Yup, it’s the end of 2016‘s primary assessment tests. Here are 16 other ways primary teachers know that SATS ARE OVER

12th May 2016, 6:20pm

Helen Ward

The Year 6s have grown an inch taller
You look in the mirror and feel like you’ve aged several years
The Year 5s have stopped gloating - they’re being told horror stories about subordinating conjunctions
You switch on the news and they’ve stopped talking to politicians about leaked Sats tests and resumed talking to politicians about the EU referendum…
… or to retired football managers about Euro 2016
Wow! There is sunshine. Has it been there all week?
You’ve had a week off marking - and spent the extra free time calling your mum to tell her about how the Sats were going
Your mum is no longer picking up your calls
The DfE publishes yet another clarification on the teacher assessments at the very moment when...
... you’d just had five minutes when you’d stopped thinking about the teacher assessments
You take down the “SHHH! Children sitting exam” poster on your classroom door...
... and put up a “SHHH! Teacher writing assessments” poster instead
The sound of the children playing outside no longer irritates you
You tell your class they’re doing outdoors learning today. They skip out of the classroom
The deputy head asks if Year 6 are all ready for their residential trip to a seaside adventure centre
“Forget the Year 6s,” you reply. “I’m ready. I’ve never been more ready for a day out! I’ve had fronted adverbials up to here! Negotiating raging white-water rapids on a surfboard while simultaneously headcounting 30 children holds no fear for me. Bring it on!”

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