For some, the Coronavirus lockdown realigned home-school relationships for the better. Suspicion was replaced with understanding, complacency replaced with commitment - from both sides. 

But for others, things undoubtedly got worse. A persistent media narrative against teachers, coupled with frequently changing information from government and an inability to please everyone all of the time meant some parent-school relationships are in a worst state now than they were pre-lockdown. 

In September, rebuilding those relationships will be  priority. So how can we approach it? 

1. Make time to talk

Antonia Firth is a deputy headteacher in Huddersfield, and warns against trying to gloss over problems.

“Schools should give parents a platform to be heard, where they feel valued and have a chance to share how Covid-19 and lockdown has impacted on them,” she says.

“If possible, [you should try] meeting face to face with parents in the new academic year.”

Rather than simply transmitting information, she continues, schools listen.

“Find out, for example, how they got on at home, and whether their child accessed remote learning,” Firth says.

“If the answer is no, that’s fine, but at least the teacher has knowledge of this. [They can ask] how they and their children have been health- and wellbeing-wise, and give them the opportunity to ask questions and make suggestions.”

2. Anticipate the anger

Be ready to be on the receiving end of parents’ frustration. The aim might be to have a nice, civil conversation, but that isn’t always the way these things turn out. 

Let parents offload, says Amy Forrester, director of pastoral care (key stage 4) at Cockermouth School in Cumbria.

“At first, you might have a parent who is very distressed, and has things that they have planned to say and need to get off their chest,” Forrester explains.

“In my experience, any interruptions or attempts to defend your decisions just won’t be listened to. You’ve got to imagine yourself in their position so you can understand why.

“You need to wait and listen to everything and make sure they know you’re listening to them. Once they’ve talked themselves out, then you can start explaining your side.”

3. Share the context

If a parent is complaining about the school “withholding” information, Firth says the right thing to do is make it clear that the school was not deliberately holding information back from parents.

“Unfortunately, the government’s failure to provide timely and coherent advice has left some parents with the perception that schools have known about things before they were announced in the briefings,” says Firth. 

And, of course, that hasn’t been the case.

“Therefore, it’s important that school leaders clarify this with parents if they haven’t already done so, highlighting the reasons why some decisions - such as children eligible to attend school or new routines - may have seemed ‘last minute’,” she says.

4. Focus on the future

Jonathon Spears, a vice-principal at a primary school in Tamworth, recommends that leaders make their apologies and move the conversation towards next steps.

“[Parents] are not interested in you defending your position or justifying your actions,” he says. 

“Ultimately, they want to know that their feelings are being acknowledged. Asking if there is anything we can do to make the situation better usually breaks the tension and begins a more friendly dialogue.

“It can be hard to admit failings, but humility goes a long way with a school community.”

Fixing the relationship really matters, he continues, because the way the parent feels about the school will impact how the child feels about the school - and the last thing you want is a snowball effect of negativity. 

“Parents need now, more than ever, to feel that we are all in it together,” says Spears. “It may feel like we never get the praise or thanks that we feel our schools deserve, but a parent leaving reception with a smile on their face feeling their problem is resolved and they have been listened to is the next best thing.”

5. Consider vulnerable groups

Not all parents will be keen to articulate their concerns to the school. But just because you’re not hearing about them, it doesn’t mean that all is well.

A recent report by the Early Intervention Foundation (EIF) found that disadvantaged and vulnerable families tend to be less likely to engage with public services generally. 

Inês Pote, senior researcher at the EIF, says this lack of engagement is likely to have been exacerbated by the lockdown.

“Pressures within many families will have increased - due to reduced income, for example, or heightened anxiety,” she explains. 

And because of this extra strain, schools should be looking to reach out to these groups in particular.

“[Schools should be] ensuring the content and methods of their communications are informative, engaging and accessible to all families, and potentially working to have more frequent contact with families than before,” she recommends.

And what should this contact aim to do? It can be as simple as making these marginalised families feel heard, says Pote.

Ultimately, schools will need to re-establish trust, and create an opportunity to discuss any additional needs or concerns together with parents.

Schools can play a really valuable role for these families, but only if contact and engagement happens.