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All at sea

From Glasgow's Castlemilk comes the tale of the supply teacher who asked where a child absent from her class lived.

"He lives in the boat hooses," replied a helpful wean, leaving the teacher puzzled as t where floating accommodation could be found in Castlemilk, well away from the Clyde and certainly not marina territory.

"Ower therr," came the explanation. "It's they new hooses that ye buy."

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