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Bart does a homer

Another much-travelled figure touched down in Glasgow at the weekend for the same conference. We refer, of course, to Bart McGettrick of the yooni's education faculty, fresh from another bout on the international lecturing circuit.

McGettrick has a lot of catching up to do. As he cited the far-seeing papal bull of 1451 which set up Glasgow University, he remarked: "As you can see, I'm getting to the bottom of my in-tray."

He was fulsomeness itself in greeting his audience: "There are people here from as far afield as Tanzania, Northern Ireland, North Lanarkshire - who are most welcome."

The former principal of the deceased St Andrew's College also noted that he was speaking on the longest day of the year which, it has been suggested, was the result of God's wish to meet all the lunatics he'd created in the one day.

"I used to think they were all at St Andrew's College - until I came to the University of Glasgow," McGettrick quipped (we think).

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