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Beware racoons on the loose

Frankly, we try to avoid mentioning racoons in the FErret household. There are only three problems with my furry American cousins - they're overpaid, over-sexed and over here. Yes, over here!

According to reports from Cornwall College, Newquay, there could be a population of racoons swaggering around the countryside, no doubt armed with Hershey bars and nylons and generally making a nuisance of themselves.

The one that came to the college's attention had been hit and killed by a car, but it is suspected it may not be the only one on the loose. Could racoons take over from the grey squirrels as the great transatlantic menace to our countryside?

The college would like anyone who spots one of the creatures to get in touch so that they can be rescued - at great public expense, no doubt. I have a better idea. Shoot the blighters on sight.

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