Speaking of the millennium, Keir Bloomer - it's the Clackmannan maestro again - said he had been speaking to a local officer of the Educational Institute of Scotland about revising the promoted post structure and "sclerotic" conditions of service, only to be assured the millennium review would take care of it.

"Knowing his organisation's addiction to protracted procrastination, I had to ask him which end of the millennium he was considering," Bloomer cracked.

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