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Brazen mum's blazing cheek;Jotter

THE LENGTHS some parents will go to defend their children. A teacher at an East Dunbartonshire secondary, demented by the continuous wind-breaking sounds of a would-be Le Petomane in his class, traced the emissions to a boy who was emulating the famous French music hall artiste but using cupped hands against his mouth.

The boy was given a punishment exercise. The following day he appeared with a note from his mother saying he would not be doing the "punny" because the noises he had made were not "vocal" but "farts coming out of his arse" caused by having beans for his tea.

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