ONCE again the West Indies have rolled over the England cricket team in only three days. Fortunately, the sports minister need not panic as the Department for Education and Employment has already designed the solution:
1. Rename the England cricket team to give it a fresh image: St George’s Academy, perhaps.
2. We replace all the coaching and managerial staff but keep the squad of players unchanged.
3. We set St George’s Academy tough targets: beat the West Indie in five days in the next match, rising to victory in three days by the last match of the series.
4. We give the team no more resources.
5. We publish their position in the league table of cricketing nations.
How can this Fresh Start possibly fail? What is more, having solved that problem, we can gain rapid success in defeating football-related hooliganism by the same quick-fire method.
Richard Kemp
27 Hillfield Road
Selsey, West Sussex
