Well, I’ve got one, a nice little boy who can’t be held responsible for his parents.

So the other morning, I said: “Hello Peter, off again yesterday. Weren’t you well?”

He looked blank, as usual, and replied “Weren’t nothing wrong with me. It were me Mum and Dad - wouldn’t get up, stayed in bed all day.”

“Right,” I said and lessons continued.

Next day, a note (these are the actual words, only the names have been changed so I can’t be sued).

“Dear Mrs Hall

Peter was away from school on Monday because his father and I had personal matters to attend with, and could not get back until late in the evening.

Yours faithfully, Mrs Jones.”

I’m definitely missing out.

SALLY HALL

Terrington St Clement CP School

Terrington St Clement

King’s Lynn