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When I left the polling place in my neighborhood yesterday, I felt proud and excited by a potential Clinton victory. Perhaps I foolishly assumed prematurely that it could be the only result. And it wasn’t because she was a woman (although that was a bonus), it was because her experience, not her emails, spoke to me about continued social reforms that would truly make our country more equal for everyone.
Raising a son in this world is already hard, especially as a single mom. Balancing my career and my parenting is challenging because both are so important to me. But I know my son is proud of the work I do and the reforms I’m trying to help create in education for the betterment of ALL children. He sees me working tirelessly to improve the lives of youngsters, his own included.
We preach possibilities for all, but the privileged few are certainly prized higher than the many in our culture and rectifying that is already hard. I’m scared for those who fit in any box that isn’t “white.”
With Trump in charge, what if negative and polarizing “honest locker room” talk becomes acceptable? Children are already being bullied in schools: having a leader who believes antagonist rhetoric is okay frightens me. How can we tell children to stop saying racist and/or threatening comments when our president makes them and doesn’t apologize?
As a public school teacher, I’m not just raising my son, I’m working with dozens of diverse students everyday whose lives can be greatly impacted by changes that can be made in terms of education, immigration and health care. And although many of those issues will directly impact our young people, nothing is more present than our elected leader’s demeanor and response to the “other” of our country. This morning my Latino students joked about how they are heading to Mexico. Although they laughed about this statement, the anxiety was evident.
Is it weird to say I wasn’t prepared for this outcome; I was certain our country held different ideals. Struggling now to put my thoughts together is even hard because I can’t believe it happened. Never have I been more afraid for America and embarrassed to be an American. I’m truly afraid for our immediate future.
We’ve reached a level of uncertainty that I’m simply not comfortable with. Although I remained neutral throughout the election as I heard students in my old school talk about Trump as a good leader, I’m not certain I will be able to look my students in the eyes over the next four years and not let a stray remark leave my lips.
Starr Sackstein is teacher and writer in New York City. Follow her on Twitter @mssackstein.
