Clone goals

There must be a factory somewhere turning out young Labourites remarkably well-schooled in New Labour-speak. Roslin perhaps? Maybe not since, according to Tony Blair's speech to Scottish Labour's annual conference in Inverness last Friday, it was young Tories who were cloned "like a Roslin experiment gone wrong".

The debate on "a future for young Scots" was accompanied by a video showing young Scots expressing their hopes for the future, complete with an excruciatingly extended footballing metaphor about the "own goals" and "penalties" meted out by the Tories since 1979. "Enough is enough," they all chanted at the end.

Then, hey presto, one of the video's stars emerged in the flesh to announce: "I will turn 18 in 10 days and will be able to vote against 18 years of Tory misrule." In a slick touch, she proceeded to introduce the leader. Young Labour, young leader. Geddit?

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