After 157 days in various degrees of lockdown, last week finally I returned to school.
On the 23 March, life as we knew it abruptly ended. We were cast adrift from all routines. Not only was my day-to-day teaching halted, but Higher exams were also cancelled - a huge shock, having worked towards them for months.
The uncertainty that followed and the debacle that was results day has undoubtedly taken a great toll on many young people’s wellbeing, myself included. And all this to a daily backdrop of rising death tolls, dire warnings and global suffering. It was terrifying.
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Like every teenager, I desperately wanted reassurance about when life would return to normal. No one had the answers. We were living through unprecedented times and for weeks during April and May, I lived in a state of emotional freefall. It was a bleak outlook.
I had always taken for granted how important my routine at my school was. I like structured days and school bells marking the hour and deadlines. They give my schedule shape and direction. During the many weeks of lockdown, time and purpose became blurred. For the first time in my life, I began to feel disorientated and distressed, even lost. We humans are sociable creatures; our happiness depends on a sense of community and interaction with others. To lose all this, in a matter of hours, was an enormous blow.
The light at the end of my tunnel was the 24 August. This was the day that the pieces of my shattered world would fall back into place.
My contemporaries and I made the smooth transition into online classes when Kilgraston was closed, yet nothing could ever equate to face-to-face engagement with peers and teachers.
Now I am in my first wonderful week back at school; I am overjoyed to be with friends and mentors every day. Like my friends, spirits are restored, and we are again united in our collective goals.
It is clear that I am not the only one who feels the elation of being part of this tightly knitted school community, reunited again after so many months of isolation. This is evident in the peals of laughter and ecstatic greetings that fill the corridors.
Everyone I have spoken to agrees that the priority now is to keep our school open for as long as possible. While this may mean that we must adapt to a very new normal, we are willing to do anything in our power to stay together.
The alternative doesn’t bear thinking about. I intend to treasure every moment of my remaining school life. My future wellbeing - and that of many others - depends on it.
Anna Gilmore Heezen is a final-year student at Kilgraston School in Perthshire, Scotland
