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Crystal Ball

Just when educational development personnel in East Dunbartonshire were patting themselves on the back for acquiring the services of television personality and maths motivator Johnny Ball to open a conference at Celtic Park, the man gave the game away.

"Te real reason I am here is to nick the Celtic manager Martin O'Neill so that he can manage England." Since Ball must have accepted the invitation long before Kevin Keegan's resignation, his next TV appearance ought to be as a psychic on The X-Files.

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