In answer to the question, how many students does it take to change a light bulb, an official at St Andrews ventured: "Three - one to call the butler and two to arrange a tailor in Rome to design and make new suits for the special occasion.
"If a light bulb in a major building blows, the number increases to 27, to allow for a brass band playing the Last Post and five Sun reporters. The following day, the Sun will contain a story along the lines of 'Will's pals in blown bulb horror'."
Among other submissions was apparently one from Glasgow. The reply to the question is rather obvious: "Who the **** wants to know?"