The praise is fulsome and the commendations lavish. The directory’s visiting critic is bowled over by the “stunning” location and “loads of choirs, jazz, swing and guitar ensembles”. The headteacher is described as “articulate, brim-full of enthusiasm and keen on discipline”.

There were, however, reservations. McLaren High “follows the Scottish system only”. A bit of a downer, that. The decor also takes a pasting, with an image of the wallpaper “hanging in shrouds”. Should that be “shreds” or is it intentional, given that McLaren High is categorised as a dead good school?

We are informed that 40 per cent of McLaren graduates go on to higher education and “some straight into farming”. I can think of nobody more ideally suited to prepare these hardy young rustics for a career in agriculture than the “brisk, no-nonsense” Mrs Sweeney. She did once speak to a man who knew a farmer.

McLaren is in august company. It sits with Belhaven Hill prep school in Dunbar, which is commended for Greek, piping and in-line skating. Gordonstoun is also included, and any establishment responsible for educating the heir to the throne must be pretty good at the job. It is candidly acknowledged that “academia is not what Gordonstoun is about”.

The only other Scottish school included in the roll of honour is Oban High, which also enjoys the gentle persuasions of a female headteacher, Linda Kirkwood.

Back at Holy Rood, we are losing colleagues to the independent sector, whose chances of being listed as good schools are proportionately enhanced. Charles Youlten is off to be head of drama at Glenalmond College in Perth, taking his talented wife Wanda away from the English department. Angela Giglio, who as our principal teacher of languages has led a transformation in Holy Rood, has been captured by George Watson’s College in Edinburgh, where she will lead a team numbered in double figures. Don’t cry for us, Glenalmond and George Watson’s. We will struggle on.

Scotland has an abundance of agencies of quality assurance. HM inspectors evaluate both schools and local authorities, who in their turn assess schools. The Scottish Qualifications Authority moderates courses, while an army of publicly-funded researchers evaluates every aspect of our metier. The Government publishes priorities, HMI revamps How Good is Our School? checklists and there are 32 local improvement plans, all of which impact on teachers. When the press and consumer agencies are added to this surfeit of scrutiny, schools feel as though they are permanently under the microscope.

However, in the spirit of sharing effective practice, I will enquire of Mrs Sweeney how she has become such a paragon of excellence. I expect a “brisk, no-nonsense” reply.

Pat Sweeney is headteacher at Holy Rood High, Edinburgh