Dry humour

OUR MPs-to-be recovered bravely, however, to give the deputy PM their ideas for protecting the environment.

"Ban cars," said one to the man they call Two Jags. "Ban pubs and turn them into Center Parcs," said another - but that was a step too far even for the newly-greened Environment Secretary.

"Ban pubs? Let me tell you summat about being a politician," he growled. "Every four or five years you have to get re-elected, and that in't how. "

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