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Fact fiction

'But is she one of us?'

A head agonises over whether to invite the crossings warden to the Christmas party

pound;2,830

Revenue and capital funding per pupil in maintained schools in England in 199798.Source: DfES

'Miss, where's the rock music you promised us?'

A Year 9 pupil doesn't appreciate the benefits of the baroque masters for a Sats maths revision session.

pound;4,960

Revenue and capital funding per pupil (estimated) in maintained schools in England in 200607.Source: DfES

'Richard and Judy.'

A Year 2 child when asked to come up with the names of two traditional puppets.

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