Wow, that’s Michelle Pfeiffer.

Sure is. Not exactly the world’s most convincing English professor.

Who cares. We’re talking fantasy teachers here.

Actually most of this is fact. Dangerous Minds is based on the true story of ex-marine Louanne Johnson, who took over a North Californian high school class known as “the rejects from hell” and turned them on to Dylan Thomas.

Pfeiffer could turn people on to Thomas the Tank Engine if she set her mind to it.

Actually it’s not that easy to begin with. At first the students don’t want to learn anything and she has to resort to all sorts of stunts - like a karate demonstration - to get their attention.

She wouldn’t have to resort to karate to get mine.

And, of course, she comes up against bureaucracy in the form of pen-pushing headteacher George Grandey, who believes in doing everything by the book.

But of course he does. Let’s be honest, this sounds like a remake of To Sir With Love and Dead Poets Society, only this time the stock Hollywood figure of “inspirational, unconventional teacher who succeeds by breaking all the rules” is played by a former Miss Orange County, aka The Most Attractive Woman In The World.

But it really is based on a true story called My Posse Don’t Do Homework.

You’re joking!

And the real Louanne did succeed in making her class of resentful Hispanics spout lines from Bob Dylan.

I thought you said Dylan Thomas.

She majors on both. They’re the only poets of whom Louanne seems to have any knowledge (having done her teacher training in the marine corps). But mostly she’s too busy being wonderful and inspirational to actually teach them anything.

So do they emerge from the film better-educated?

No, but Louanne does help young Callie Roberts cope with her unexpected pregnancy, and manages to convince Emilio Ramrirez that he doesn’t have to be so macho and crazily self-destructive. As the film’s publicists say:

“She broke the rules... and changed their lives.”

Yeah right, but do they actually learn anything?

No. But then learning is rather boring on screen. And anyway, what the hell, not many people can say they had Michelle Pfeiffer as their high school English teacher. Who cares if the whole thing is totally unbelievable.