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FErret

Oh yes she is

One urgent task for anyone who teaches teenagers is to find out what nickname they are whispering behind your back. Anything along the lines of your surname with "ers" on the end, or "Mr M" is good news. "Death breath" or something similar could indicate being held in less esteem by those bright young minds.

Ruth Silver, Lewisham College's principal, is lucky enough to have received a unique insight into the minds of her students. Already used to juggling a number of roles as she combines her day job with chairing the Learning and Skills Improvement Service, the Dame now finds herself portrayed in the college's panto.

Quite what she will make of her depiction is another matter, as Dame Ruthie in the onstage incarnation will be a Jamaican market trader. Yet another role to add to her lengthy CV.

A sound thrashing for posh

FErret is gratified to learn of a classic Bash Street vs Posh Street match, with Southgate College (alumni: Lois Winstone, daughter of Ray) taking on Oxford University (alumni: Sir Walter Raleigh, King Harald V of Norway) in Rugby League.

Happily, the college's team of old boys and current students claimed a "historic victory", 16-12 against the Brideshead boys. The win for Southgate, who fielded 15 teenagers during the match, came in dramatic fashion with a try in the last two minutes leaving Oxford stunned.

It would be churlish of us to point out that the college's link with pro team London Skolars means they are not quite the underdogs they first appear, so we won't.

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