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Five places you don’t want to run into students
This is not how you want your students to remember you
One of the major perils of being a teacher who lives where you work is the increasing possibility of bumping into your students outside school. And you can bet that if it’s going to happen, it’ll be at the most inopportune of moments. Here we outline five places you’d really rather not bump into your students.
1. Out shopping. You have a big date tonight and you need a new “foundation garment” (your friends call them Spanx) so you can fit into your showstopper of an outfit. You’ve found a nice pair with a new leopard print design (naturally) but they don’t have your size. Armed with the undergarment, you wander over to the register. As you get closer, it slowly dawns on you that the salesperson is, in fact, Emily, the biggest gossip in the 11th grade. She has a smirk on her face and you know your little secret won’t be a little secret for long.
2. On a date. A little ruffled by the shopping encounter, you arrive at the restaurant a few minutes late. However, you’ve pulled it together and you and your date head to your candlelit table. You’re just about to order when you realize the grin on your waiter’s face is a little too wide. Your heart sinks as you hear the phrase that’ll instantly kill the mood: “Hello, teach! Ooh, date night?”
3. At a fast food outlet. Depressed by the fact that work has got in the way of yet another date, you order takeout. You’re wallowing in your PJs but the lure of a free eggroll with purchase of full-size entree is too great. You pull on your gardening sweat pants, a scuffed up pair of sneakers you were planning to throw away and a huge army surplus jacket that was your pride and joy in college and head out, only to bump into another student who instantly recognizes you - and the industrial quantity of Ben and Jerry’s you’re carrying. (It was another special the takeout was running, how could you refuse?)
4. At the gym. Concerned that rumors of you being a poorly dressed, binge-eating machine will follow you around school, you head out to the gym to work off last night’s pizza. About five minutes in, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and remember you’re not a PE teacher, just a sweaty mess, screaming along to Beyoncé at the top of your lungs. Unfortunately, you also spy in the mirror a tiny gaggle of teenagers, pointing and laughing. And possibly filming. Stupid Snapchat.
5. Any place medical. Having flown backwards off the treadmill in a state of exhaustion, you find yourself in urgent care. Just as the nurse asks you about your loose stools, you see Jimmy from your 9th grade Biology class staring at you. He’s there for moral support for his father who’s sprained an ankle - and they’ve both heard everything...You’d love to drown your sorrows at the local bar, but after a week like this the risk of bumping into one of the parents is just too high.
