It’s a bad time at school. Winter colds have set in, the inspectors are due, there’s no supply cover for Year 6. And now your grandmother has died. What are your chances of time off for her funeral?

Every year thousands of teachers come up against the rules and, worse still, the non-rules for compassionate leave. Most problems revolve around childcare crises. These are covered by legislation dealing with dependants.

Sally Brewer, a secondary French teacher in Leicestershire, couldn’t believe her head’s attitude when she asked for time off after her aunt died last year.

“The funeral was in Wales, and I needed two days off to get there and back. She was my only aunt and she had no children, so we were very close.

“The head told me that I wasn’t entitled to any time off and said that an aunt didn’t count as a close relative. As I’m a senior member of staff and have been at the school for a few years, I felt able to hold my ground. I said I thought it was unreasonable. She then said it was very short notice, which I thought was ridiculous. You rarely get more than a week’s notice for a funeral anyway.

“Eventually she agreed to let me go, but said she was entitled to stop my pay for the two days off. In the end she didn’t carry out her threat, but the whole episode was thoroughly unpleasant.

“It’s no wonder so many people mysteriously go sick instead of asking for compassionate leave. It’s certainly management behaviour guaranteed to put staff backs up.”

But there’s very little a teacher can do if such a request is turned down. The right to emergency time off is for situations involving dependants: husband, wife, partner, child, parent or someone living as part of your family. It also covers others who rely on you for help in an emergency. That includes time needed to arrange and attend a dependant’s funeral.

There’s an obligation on you to give as much notice as possible and to say when you will be back. There is no legal obligation on the employer to pay you for time off, although it depends on your employment contract.

According to the Secondary Heads Association, most problems occur in understaffed schools when the funeral is of a distant relative.

“Most heads are compassionate people and say Yes when they can, though it can be a problem when it’s grandma’s second cousin,” says Bob Carstairs, assistant general secretary of the association.

“There are very few cases indeed where salary has been deducted for going to the funeral of a close relative. Most LEAs put out guidance to heads on this one.”

Heads may, understandably, become become suspicious if a staff member seems to have a large, ever-dying family.

But if the elderly relative is a dependant, you should have no problems. There is no qualifying period for the right to time off for dependants: you are entitled to it from day one of your job.

It may be worth trying to influence the timing of a funeral, though the bereaved are rarely given priority at such times.

To find out more about legal rights to time off, ring the Department of Trade and Industry booklet line on 0870 1502 500 and ask for a copy of Time Off for Dependants or visit www.dti.gov.ukertime_off_deps.htm