“How can we possibly do that?” demands Eric, a co-opted governor and retired secondary deputy head. We soon find out.

In a smallish primary like ours, analysis can be done on a pupil-by-pupil basis. We are presented with an anonymised grid which shows the children’s attainment levels at KS1 and their current performance levels in English, maths and science. This data is extrapolated to give estimated grades for each child together with a percentage probability rating for the pupil achieving levels 4 and 5 at KS2. Simple enough? Our two newly-elected parent governors are looking a little glazed and Eric is muttering darkly about biscuit factories and production lines.

“But does it feel like that when you come into school?” I ask. “If it did, I wouldn’t come.” Eric goes swimming with the children, helps at sports days, coaches school productions and accompanies every trip. He is our literacy governor, taught many of our parents and several governors. He finds it hard to see children in statistical terms.

We agree our targets: and then agree to forget them and turn our attention back to our delightfully un-anonymised children.