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Hisses and cheers

East Dunbartonshire delegate Sid Perrie, aka "Hissing Sid" for his gentle qualities, was in sparkling form at this year's annual gathering of the Educational Institute of Scotland in Perth.

In a debate calling for a campaign to back the retention of Standard grades, Perrie warned that pupils should not be sitting their Highers in S4 "because our boys are not mature enough. Our boys have got testosterone."

He added: "They say a boy thinks about sex every three minutes. I have yet to find out what they think about for the rest of the time."

Later, Perrie stepped up to the podium to speak to another motion, only to be told that the previous debate had not yet concluded. "Too much testosterone, Sid," shouted someone from the floor. "You've come too soon."

Male delegates, however, applauded Sid's sage words of advice gleaned from a day of continuing professional development at Stirling University, where one of the speakers had opened his presentation saying:

"I heard they have banned hoodies from all the shopping centres in England - so I've bought my wife one."

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