Elsewhere, Prince Charles rushed to the rescue of the beleaguered chief inspector, Chris Woodhead, and delighted children in Yorkshire with a royal visit.
The Leader of the Opposition, William Hague, and his wife Ffion opened a new extension, incorporating indoor lavatories, at the 120-year-old North and South Cowton primary school, near Northallerton, in Mr Hague's native Yorkshire.
Otherwise, a week for extremists: John Tyndall, leader of the far right British National Party, crept out from oblivion to appear on Radio 4 and be invited, then uninvited, to an Oxford Union debate on racism; a school set up by the militant black group, the Nation of Islam, might be closed unless it reveals more about its owners and finances to the education department.
A seven-year-old Iranian was hailed as a miracle child as he has memorised all 600 pages of the Koran. Also good to know that Mohammed Husayn Tabatabai likes playing football with his little brother and enjoys using his colouring book.
Teenagers are being traumatised by TV pictures of the Kosovo horrors. Even worse for younger children who ask teachers: "What side is Jesus on?" or "What is ethnic cleansing?" Cathy Midwinter, of the development education project at Manchester Metropolitan University, is producing a 10-page pack for teachers on Kosovo to help them present "clear and simple facts that enable them to discuss the issues raised", an ambitious task. At least a few Kosovar refugees left Macedonian camps to start a new life in Leeds.
As if there weren't enough violence around, a Suffolk MP has advocated bringing back the birch. David Ruffley, Conservative member for Bury St Edmunds, told a constituent whose garden gnomes had been stolen that hooligans were not treated strictly enough.
Labour Foreign Office minister, Baroness Symons, was accused of hypocrisy over sending her 13-year-old son to St Paul's, an expensive independent in West London. Old boys include John Milton, Samuel Pepys, and Field Marshall Montgomery.
When it's time for his GCSEs, young James will surely not need the spurious excuses offered by pupils in appeals to get their results upgraded. (See right.)