We’ve often heard teachers talk about just how much better things would be if they ruled the world. Well now we’ll get the chance to find out, in one small part of it at least: Canada has elected former teacher Justin Trudeau as its next prime minister. But what would happen if a teacher were to take over as President - and implement everything they’d learned from education?
- Congressional business takes twice as long as usual, as each Congressman and Congresswoman is subject to a strict check before they’re allowed to enter the chamber - gum is to be thrown in a new ceremonial trash can.
- “And I say to the American people: I’m not angry, I’m disappointed.”
- The Speaker starts a “fingers on lips” system for maintaining order during the State of the Union address...
- ...and anyone disobeying the “fingers on lips” system loses five minutes of Recess (and therefore any chance of a seat in the bar) on a Friday.
- The White House stationery budget mysteriously triples overnight.
- Secretaries of state are abolished in favour of group work and peer-marking.
- Written questions are only allowed if they have a capital letter at the start, a question mark at the end and perfect spelling throughout.
- Under a new behavior policy, the impeachment process is triggered if the president gets to “thunder”.
- White House staff are expected to display the best of their correspondence as wall displays in their office.
- And, of course, the first policy announcement: ordering every state to give every single teacher a huge (and well deserved) pay rise.
