Kooky jargon

The Headteachers' Association of Scotland's cousins south of the border have become rather skittish of late - no doubt due to their new guise as the Association of School and College Leaders, formerly the Secondary Heads Association.

The latest issue of its magazine has a plain English guide to educational jargon. Entries include:

"Literacy across the curriculum: a system for blaming others for children's bad spelling."

"Performance management: appointing a head of the arts faculty to deal with those of artistic temperament."

"Virtual learning environment: a geography quiz showing the class have almost understood things."

"Ringtone: "what any sensible (Westminster) education minister does before choosing a policy."

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