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Learn to talk nonsense and reach your reach target

I've been a teacher now for a quarter of a century and I like to think I can talk jargon with the best of them. But having recently become a governor of a planned children's centre, I find myself entering previously uncharted linguistic territory.

Come with me if you will, to the Holly Bush conference suite, Treelands Professional Centre for Developing Professionals, Northshire, where a seminar on children's centres is in full swing and Bob Roberts, Lead Officer for Leading on Things, is giving his opening speech.

"Colleagues, I am pleased to be having this dialogue here with yourselves today as it is important that we draw down on useful models to plan sensible broad parameters that will enable us to deliver on the core offer.

The reach target that is our key remit will ultimately demand that partnerships and linkages within the LDAs (less disadvantaged areas) are robust and that end-loaded capital programmes are a broad match for ring-fenced devolved funding. The component strands of current model management structures show apportionment of the core funding elements that are fit for purpose.

"However, there is a need for greater harmonisation if we are to reach our reach target. Indicative capital funding on local programmes in the localities shows that capacity issues need place-planning in order to action virement of core funding elements and budget out-turns. Colleagues such as yourselves will find there are several ponder points to take into account when flexing a model and delivering on the core offer. The accountable body must offer our partners on the ground a robust delivery at all strategic levels. All monies that are vired must be outsourced from revenue spend and cost centres must be evidenced. In actioning access to the core offer I hope we will journey towards model management and our size of reach will therefore be indicative of our revenue spend. Remember, colleagues, robust delivery on our outcomes will ensure we reach our reach target.

"I'll hand you over now to my colleague Geoffrey from the Integrated Strategic Partnership Unit who will be leading on this..."

Please note none of this is rea* I except for the words in italics.

Anna Hayday

Anna Hayday is a foundation stage consultant. She writes under a pseudonym

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