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The affable Bill Copland, depute principal of Clydebank College, was apparently offered a retirement package on the same day as Wim Jansen resigned as manager of Celtic.

Asked if, as a lifelong fan, he would apply for the vacancy, Copland replied: "I don't think I would have much of a chance. My full name is William - as in Orange - Wallace - as in Mercer, and Copland - as in Road."

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