This parent wasn’t the worst, but the most disconcerting. It was one of those moments when your rational world spins out of control and the question “is it just me?” comes to mind.

On this occasion it began with a lunch box left on the kitchen table and an untraceable mum. As we usually did, I took the child to the nearest sandwich shop for something healthy from the takeaway menu. Later that afternoon, Mum turned up at school and I told her what happened. I ended with a request for #163;2.25, that being the cost of the meal. What followed is the disconcerting, world wobbling bit.

“Well that’s not fair!”

“Pardon?”

“I’ve already paid for a lunch for him. He left it at home.”

“Yes, I know and I bought him another one. It was lunchtime and he was hungry.”

“But if I pay you, I will have forked out for two lunches and that’s not fair.”

“Can’t he have his lunch for his tea?”

“No, his dad saw he had left it and took it to work.”

“So you will have saved on his dad’s lunch then?”

“No, ‘cos he doesn’t normally have a lunch, just beer.”

“Erm ...”

“And his dad doesn’t even like luncheon meat anyway.”

“But I paid #163;2.25 for your son’s lunch.”

“Yes and he tells me you made him have a salad roll, which makes him fart so we will have to put up with that all the way home in the car. Never mind, you were trying your best.”

I went and sat in a darkened room for some time. And I still haven’t got the #163;2.25.

- The author is a teacher in Hampshire. Email your worst parent stories to features@tes.co.uk. Every one that is published earns #163;50 in MS vouchers.