This week: energy drinks

We’ve all seen the wide-eyed stare and agitated body language of some students at 9am: clearly, two cans of caffeinated pop and a packet of Monster Munch crisps do not a healthy breakfast make.

As caffeine surges around the still-developing brains of children and their behaviour spins out of control, staff long for the times when students slumped passively across their desks. Where once glassy-eyed zombies haunted the corridors, now hyperactive youths practise karate on their friends at 8.15 in the morning.

This week, school food adviser John Vincent called for a ban of the sugar-loaded pick-me-ups. He described energy drinks as “another form of drugs”. We at TES applaud him - surely schools should be offering calming milk drinks for break time, not fizzy caffeine hits.

How could schools police it, though? It is almost impossible to control what children are eating and drinking before they make their way through the gates.

We would make one exception: teachers. School staff don’t generally get a lot of sleep (what with all the planning and grading) and sometimes an energy drink packed with guarana and caffeine is required. So don’t forget to stock the staffroom with cans of the most potent variety while simultaneously whipping them out of the hands of your charges.