This week: the Mayans

According to our ancient Central American brethren, today is the day the world ends. Yes, nearly 1,500 years ago a bunch of half-naked Mexicans decided that 21 December 2012 was the day that a big, flaming apocalypse would strike the earth, ending the world and cancelling Christmas to boot.

Or at least that’s what a lot of people thought. The Mayans have good form in predicting things. They forecast the solar eclipse in 1999 right to the very day. They also correctly claimed that a black hole was at the centre of our galaxy.

But when it comes to predicting the end of the world, the Mayans, it seems, have been guilty of what thousands of pupils are guilty of every week: not finishing their school work.

It turns out 21 December 2012 is not the end of the world, but merely when the Mayan calendar stops. It appears one lazy Mayan didn’t get round to completing his homework and as a result thousands of people nearly two millennia later are frantically buying tins of beans and digging bunkers in their backyards like demented moles.

Teachers across the country should use it as a lesson to their pupils about what can happen if they don’t finish the task at hand. One unfinished book report could easily become doomsday in 2213.