a It’s deeply, deeply offensive to Tory newspapers

b No jokes about Germans please - remember Dresden

c It’s a private party

d I’m only following orders

2 Years of heartache and yearning end in a televised wedding on April 8. Whose?

a Charlie and Caz

b Ken and Deirdre

c Ken and Barbie

d David and Kimberley

3 Each year, school exams cost pound;610 million: discuss.

a What a shocking waste of money

b And the questions are getting easier

c But it’s pound;140m less than the QCA thought they cost

d Er, what was the question again?

4 A new locomotive was named after which punk hero?

a Johnny Rotten

b Captain Sensible

c Joe Strummer

d Plastic Bertrand

QUIZ ANSWERS: 1d, 2b, 3c, 4c